| August 5, 2007
by Dr. Linda Bausserman August 5, 2007
The story of Thomas and his doubts is familiar to most of us and is often mentioned as a favorite New Testament story. Any thinking Christian will have periods of doubt; so we are delighted to have a Bible character with whom we can identify. But I think there is more to Thomas than an example of the axiom “seeing is believing.”
Thomas appears in all the gospels whenever the names of the disciples are listed. But stories about him as an individual appear only in the gospel of John and there are three of them. These stories together constitute a sort of three act play describing Thomas’s spiritual development. Act one takes place just before Jesus sets out for the final trip to Jerusalem and is found in John 11:7-16. The disciples are trying to dissuade Jesus from going to Jerusalem because of the dangers there. “Rabbi,” his disciples said, ‘it is not long since the Jews there were wanting to stone you. Are you going there again?’” There follows some discussion about Lazarus then Jesus makes it clear that he is going. In verse 16 Thomas says to his fellow-disciples, ‘Let us also go, that we may die with him.’” Thomas is a realist and recognizes that Jesus might be killed but is nonetheless loyal and suggests going with him. I wish we could get some stage directions here. It would be nice to know how he said this. Was he being sarcastic? Did he sigh? He doesn’t really seem the fake-martyr type. Perhaps he just said it straight and meant that it was worth following Jesus no matter what the cost. In any event they all go. We can assume that they would have gone without Thomas’s urging but the fact that he spoke up suggests that he had significant standing among the disciples. So in this first act of our play Thomas comes across as a devoted and dedicated disciple. He demonstrates his faithfulness and commitment to following Jesus and appears fairly confident in what he is about.
Act II takes place in Jerusalem shortly before Jesus death and is found in John 14:1-6. Jesus has told the disciples that he is leaving and is trying to comfort them. He says ‘Put your troubled hearts at rest.’ Then, further down in verse 3, ‘And if I go and prepare a place for you, I shall come again and receive you to myself, so that where I am you may be also; and my way there is known to you.’ Thomas said, ‘Lord, we do not know where you are going so how can we know the way?’ Jesus replied, ‘I am the way; I am the truth and I am life.’ Thomas is again realistic. He sees the writing on the wall, knows that Jesus is about to die and he wants to know how to live without Jesus as a guide. I like his forthrightness. He’s not afraid to show his confusion and lack of understanding. I suspect there may have even been some desperation in his question. I would also guess that he was wanting some specific instructions – you know – as in go two blocks north then turn right where Almacs used to be. I would sure like to know what went on in his head when he heard Jesus’ answer. I picture the teenager-type sigh and rolling eyes – yet another of Jesus’ vague and incomprehensible answers. I am the way? What does that mean? Something a little more definitive would have been appreciated. In contrast to Act I Thomas is no longer so confident in his ability to follow Jesus. He’s unsure of where he’s headed now and not sure how to follow or what is expected of him. And it’s going to get worse. Jesus is crucified and Thomas is plunged into grief. I think it is hard for us who know the end of the story to imagine the grief and confusion that the disciples felt when Jesus was taken away from them. It must have been a period of great spiritual darkness.
Act III, scene 1. Shortly after Jesus’ resurrection. Thomas’s next entrance is in the passage Jason read to us. The other disciples have seen Jesus and tell Thomas about it. But, Thomas doesn’t believe them. “Unless I put my finger into the place where the nails were, and my hand into his side, I will not believe it.” Here again we just get the dialogue. What was Thomas thinking? He had lived with these men for three years. They had been through so much together. I would guess that these men were filled with joy and confusion both at the same time. Did Thomas think they were deluded, perhaps so grief-stricken that they imagined that Jesus had appeared to them? Or was he more cynical and thought they were lying. Did they think their little group had a good thing going and should keep the story alive by claiming Jesus had risen from the grave? Perhaps they thought that Jesus’ teachings were so important that they would, with good intentions, lie to keep the people’s faith. Delusions or lies? The implications of Thomas’ reaction are not good! Aren’t you curious about the disciples’ response? Were they offended? Insulted? Unfortunately, the curtain falls and the scene changes without us finding out.
Act III, scene 2. One week later. We find Thomas with the disciples in a locked room. The Bible says simply that the door was locked and that Thomas was there. I find this astounding. He has told the disciples that he doesn’t believe them. Yet, the locked door implies intimacy. It’s not as if the disciples were on a street corner and Thomas was just hanging out on the fringes. Don’t you wonder what Thomas was doing there? Why did he want to be there with these people he didn’t believe and perhaps more important for us why did they let him be there? Let’s look at Thomas first. How hard it must have been for him. I would have expected him to go off alone and mourn Jesus’ death for a while, then get on with his life. But, he’s here with the others – in a locked room no less. He remains faithful and loyal despite his disbelief. He must have felt deeply connected to these men and women after their shared experiences of the last three years. Maybe he is drawn by the joy he sees in his friends. He is probably curious to see what they do next. Perhaps he has been so touched by Jesus life and teachings that he wants to be with those who have also known Jesus. I believe that though he needed proof of Jesus resurrection, he remained faithful to Jesus’ teaching. I like to think that he may also have had a shred of hope that the disciples were right and Jesus was alive. How hard that must have been to be there with his friends who had seen Jesus when Jesus was absent from him. Rather than a model for doubt, I think he is a model of faithfulness. Faithfulness is how we behave when God is seemingly absent and we feel abandoned and alone. Thomas hung in there even though he thought all was lost. In the end, Thomas is rewarded for his faithfulness. Jesus appears in their midst and speaks to Thomas personally: see, touch, feel. Thomas responds by saying “My Lord and my God.” Thomas, the faithful doubter, was the first to recognize the divinity of Jesus and call him God. He was the first to see God incarnated in Jesus.
Now there’s another side to this story. We have considered why Thomas was in that locked room. But what about the disciples? Why did they allow him to be there. He didn’t believe them and yet they include him - certainly an act of generosity and hope. Rather than being angry, they were understanding. I am touched by the love and patience that they showed Thomas. They must have remembered their own astonishment and confusion and understood what a difficult concept resurrection was to grasp. What an example for our congregations today! We too often bolster up our own uncertainties by insisting that others believe as we do. We should welcome doubters and our own doubts because they may enable us to see God in new ways.
So this three-act play about Thomas is really the story of his spiritual journey: A commitment to follow Jesus – wherever that might lead, pondering the questions, facing doubts head on without avoidance or evasion, and finding God again in a new way of relating. He at last found out where he had been headed all this time and by remaining faithful during the dark phase recognized the Son of God for who he is. We should not look at the story of Thomas as one that gives us comfort because he provides an excuse to set aside our questions and doubts. Rather, he challenges us to face our questions and remain faithful. He didn’t avoid his questions but faced them and boldly asked for answers. I think God must appreciate boldness. There are many examples of boldness in the Bible – Job, Ezekial, Jeremiah, many of the Psalms. Despite boldness in posing questions, however; sometimes we may have to wait a long time for the answers. Rainer Maria Rilke, a German poet has said we must learn to live the questions. Let me read you the quote from his Letters to a Young Poet:
It takes courage to live our questions – we want answers right away. We want to know the destination and to be given directions for how to get there. We would even like an estimated time of arrival. But that doesn’t seem to be the way God works. Jesus simply says “Follow me. I am the way.” We are asked to follow a step at a time without knowing much about where we will be taken or, even more frightening, how it will change us – risky business! Like Thomas, we are asked to make a journey of faith.
I think one of the things that makes it possible to embark on such a journey is a community of faith. Our paths may be different but in a sense we are all on the journey together. It is here that we find support as we live our questions. We come now to the Lord’s table. We come as fellow travelers on an unmarked road. All are welcome. Bring your questions and your doubts along as well as your hopes. Back |
